About a duck

Here is the thing about a pet baby duck: he is equal parts terrified of you and desperately in need of your constant company. And he's obsessed with feet. So you have to be very, very careful where you walk to avoid having a duckling literally underfoot.

bird not to scale: that is, he looks much taller in this picture than he does in real life.

We've only been together two days, but I'm very quick to make a list.

Things a duckling will do to your delight:

• Paddle his little feet in your bathtub
• Wiggle his little tail
• Flap his little wings (They are so little! Sometimes he tips over and needs help getting up.)
• Cuddle
• Eat bugs right out of the air as they fly by
• Provide hours of entertainment much cheaper than cable

Things a duckling will do to your dismay:

• Poop his little turds in your bathtub
• Poop his little turds in your kitchen
• Poop his little turds in your lap
• Poop his little turds on the stuffed bear that you got for him to cuddle.
• This is serious. There are a lot of little turds.

Here is some advice before you get a duck:

• Get a box for your duck. Make sure it's a box you don't care about because it will soon be full of poop. Even if you think you're a free-range duck kind of household, find a box. In the last 24 hours, I have learned that there is no such thing as a full-time free-range duck kind of household.
• Buy stock in paper towels. (*Not sustainable, but like I said, there are a lot of little turds. Almost enough to order these duck diapers.) (About duck diapers: you might think they're a joke like I did... until I got a duck.)
• Feed the cat. You don't want him getting any ideas.

You can see a tiny clip of Watson here.